Monday, October 13, 2008

These are the rainy days

Thank you, friends, who've loved on us and prayed for us as we deal with our recent loss. We loved Matt and grief is never easy. I've been talking to a few moms from my church who also loved Matt and I've discussed with them this ache I feel that I've never felt before. This is the first passing of a loved one that I've encountered since I became a mom and I am suspicious that my tears and this gut gnawing feeling is due to motherhood. Even though Matt is someone else's baby, my heart aches like a mother's heart and my grief this weekend has been deep.

We found out Friday morning about Matt and were scheduled to leave for Houston and The Woodlands on Friday afternoon. Something I did not want to do after I heard the news, but Nathan encouraged me to go and so we did. We got to meet all of Jamie's nieces and nephews. ALL of them. :) It was refreshing to my soul to see all this young, new life playing and screaming and smiling. It did my heart good and I'm thankful to see them all loving on Jamie's mom. She's a proud grandmama like my mom. Jamie's most recent nephew, Isaac James, is just the most darling little boy and he melted my heart. He is BEAUTIFUL and I loved seeing his drooly smiles. It reminded me how quickly little ones grow. I want FIVE kids after seeing all the cousins together. It was so fun.

We ALSO got to hang out and play with Heather and Eric Seeger at Market Street in The Woodlands on Saturday afternoon. We had such a good time running around with them. :) It kind of blows my mind that they and so many other of our close friends have moved but when we get together, it's like nothing has changed. Isn't that just such a blessing? I miss my friends who've moved like crazy but I'm thankful to those visits that we get. Nathan and I might plan a trip to the Enchanted Rock Area sometime soon and we'll be able to catch up with the Albright Sunshine kids if they aren't out of town. And we are going to get to see Aaron and Kerre & Jack soon!! I can't wait for that. :) Little boys rule!

Allllllthough, Wesley DOES have a little girlfriend. He thinks she is just fabulous and I love hanging out with Beka and her little Zoe girl. Zoe is 2 months younger than Wesley and she is SO sweet and smart and has her mama's smile. I had the pleasure of taking their pictures last Thursday and got to spend the whole afternoon with them and Wes-man. It was awesome.

I feel myself growing sleepy, I think I might take a nap with Wesley now. He's been zonked out for a while now (probably recuperating from our whirlwind trip). Looking at him just delights my heart, seeing him grow and laugh and play is the sparkle in my day and I praise God for giving Nathan and I the opportunity to be parents. What a gift and such a treasure. Especially in these gloomy days, I cuddle my little guy just that much more. God comforts us in such different ways. My boys definitely are a great source of comfort. Cuddle time is the best time. :)

1 comment:

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings about the grief that you are feeling. I can relate to the "motherhood grief", as I have also been having a difficult time since Matt has gone home. I didn't know Matt well at all, but our family spent a lot of time praying for him and his family. I was a little surprised at how difficult his passing would be. I think you are right, though--being a parent seems to put it in a different light.

    I love your blog and we use it to check in on your precious family since moving to Arkansas. I have a ladies book group blog--if you are ever interested, just let me know. Some other creekers do it, too.

    Please tell that amazingly adorable little blessing of yours that his birthday buddy says "hi"!

    Kasey Wojtek