Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Without troubling a star"
I have a memory, somewhat dimmed by the years, of me sitting on the back of a hayride in the beautiful hill country of Bandera, Texas, holding a flashlight in my hands, and gazing up at the stars. I believe I was about ten years old, with frizzy hair and an awkward gait. But I loved the stars. And when I lost myself in their depths, this particularly cool Texas summer night, I knew that I could be anything I wanted. I could travel to the moon and back, if that was my heart's desire. I could climb mountains, ride horses across great plains, fly in a hot air balloon around the world. I was royal, important, and necessary on this earth.
How often, as time moves slowly and then quickly, we forget what we are capable of.
Far too often.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
So, I'm going to download my pictures from my camera now, maybe peruse them a bit, and go to bed! :) yeeeea....we'll see how that goes.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
His little sister's wedding
Camping with the Thorne's! (SO EXCITED)
My 25th Birthday :)
Annual Frio River trip!
wooohooo! Bring on the fun!
P.S. Our pastor is traveling to Asia tomorrow for 2 weeks to do some "exploring" and loving. Be in prayer for him. I hope to soon follow.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The one service that I attended last Thursday was for the mother of 2 girls I went to Travis Baptist with in the days of my youth. She was a sparkly woman. She radiated peace and such sweet smiles. It grieves me, the pain her sweet daughters must be feeling. I wish I could protect the world from all this darkness.
The first funeral (the one I missed) was for a young girl that I graduated high school with. She leaves behind a beautiful little one, a daughter not a year old.
Grief is hard. It weighs heavy on your heart and makes you feel numb all over. Or like you are drowning and can't catch a breath.
Walking through the doors of Travis Baptist Church last Thursday flooded my eyes with tears before I even could think about Carolyn. Just the memories that the sanctuary held for me were so passionate, so vibrant in my mind's eye that I nearly got up to leave. But I loved the grieving family, and I stayed seated and let the memories flood my soul: the first night I sat in the pews there, hearing the message of salvation, the first time I met so many shining faces that hold their own special places on the shelves of my heart. The first time I sang in the choir, the first time I stood in front of a congregation and testified that Jesus was real in my heart. The first time I saw someone wash the feet of a brother. My family's own walk with the Lord and their public commitments to follow Jesus. The hands that I held in prayer, so often, the teachings that were spoken from the pulpit, the songs that were sung from the hymnals, the love that swelled in my heart for my church family. It was so real, so strong, so alive. It was the place where I learned about the different kind of loves, where I learned to pray, where I learned what it meant to be authentic and where Jesus continually picked me up when I did fail.
And through my grief, I give thanks. The memories, the friendships, the painful times of growth. It gives me such joy to have such vibrant memories, even though my path took me elsewhere, I shall never forget those days.
Friday, May 08, 2009
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ---Mark Twain
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Today is one of my best girl's birthday! She and I have been friends for around 5 years...maybe longer, they all kind of blur together. :) We have been on so many adventures together, so many important life events. She's been there for me through my relationship with Nathan, she was there when he proposed, she was there when we planned our wedding, she was my roomie at Zephyr, she was my maid of honor, she was there for me when we told the world we were going to have a baby, she was there the day I delivered my sweet little lamb and she's been there for Wesley and all of us every day since. She is a real friend, putting other's feelings above and beyond her own. She loves her family with abandon and seeks to discover the beauties of Jesus in her life. She works hard and pursues righteousness. She's authentic and has one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen! :) She is also very silly, klutzy in her own way, sometimes she stares off into space forgetting what she was going to say in the first place, she takes forever to hang up on the phone, reads so very slowly and she does her best with her cooking endeavors. She has the worst road rage I've ever seen, and she yells at other drivers if they tee her off. She loves passionately and angers rarely. She's so human, so perfectly imperfect, and she's my best friend. So here's to Jamie on her birthday. Wish her well and cut her off one day on the road if you can ;)
I love you Jamie K!
Monday, May 04, 2009
Well today is one of those days that I claim Psalm 91 as my own. It's one of those days where I wish I could provide that shelter to my son, to protect him from the vile hearts that prowl this earth and the pain that is sure to splash his pure spirit someday. I feel disgusted as I sit here, just thinking about some of the atrocities that are out there, so many malignant hearts, so many who have succumbed to the lies of the enemy. So much pain.
But HIS mercies are new every day and that just makes my heart swell with anticipation, with hope. Even when I ridiculously fight Him, He rescues me and protects me with his wings. I wish I could be that for Wesley, for my family. To be able to protect his sweet little heart. His open, friendly smile that he shines to anyone who will share a smile with him, breaks my heart knowing that very smile will falter because of sin, because of the burdens of this life.
BUT I know that while I can't be the one to give his heart protection, I can teach him about the ONE who can shelter him and give him wings to fly. This gives me great pleasure! Such joy bubbles inside me as I pray for the journey my little one is embarking on. This life of his.
I grew up listening to my mom say that I didn't belong to her, that my brother didn't belong to her. That we were God's children entrusted to her and dad and she needed to do the best job she could. That is powerful now to me, as a mommy. And I praise the Lord for such an incredible opportunity to be a mother. Wow.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. a]">
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."