Monday, May 04, 2009

my shelter

One of the first verses that really spoke to my heart as a newborn child of God was Psalm 91:1. It was the second verse I ever memorized, the first being Psalm 34:18 (The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and heals those who are crushed in spirit).

Well today is one of those days that I claim Psalm 91 as my own. It's one of those days where I wish I could provide that shelter to my son, to protect him from the vile hearts that prowl this earth and the pain that is sure to splash his pure spirit someday. I feel disgusted as I sit here, just thinking about some of the atrocities that are out there, so many malignant hearts, so many who have succumbed to the lies of the enemy. So much pain.

But HIS mercies are new every day and that just makes my heart swell with anticipation, with hope. Even when I ridiculously fight Him, He rescues me and protects me with his wings. I wish I could be that for Wesley, for my family. To be able to protect his sweet little heart. His open, friendly smile that he shines to anyone who will share a smile with him, breaks my heart knowing that very smile will falter because of sin, because of the burdens of this life.

BUT I know that while I can't be the one to give his heart protection, I can teach him about the ONE who can shelter him and give him wings to fly. This gives me great pleasure! Such joy bubbles inside me as I pray for the journey my little one is embarking on. This life of his.

I grew up listening to my mom say that I didn't belong to her, that my brother didn't belong to her. That we were God's children entrusted to her and dad and she needed to do the best job she could. That is powerful now to me, as a mommy. And I praise the Lord for such an incredible opportunity to be a mother. Wow.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. a]">

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Psalm 91


  1. Thank you for posting this. (tears in my eyes). I need to be reminded of this often.

  2. Something struck me when you stated how your mom told you that you and your brother didn't belong to her. My very favorite parent-child relationship in the Bible is the one between Hannah and Samuel. She was a barren woman until God opened her womb and to thank Him, she gave God her one son.
    It's such a powerful story and very symbolic of the sacrificial love God bestowed through Jesus. I don't think there is any other relationship that surmises sacrifice like that between a parent and child... To think that God grants us these little miracles to raise and love, but we know that they're not entirely ours. They are given to us to in turn...give away.
    It is probably my single greatest hope to become a mother, in some capacity. I know that my child will not belong to me, but I long to teach him/her to rest in the comforting wings of their Faither and know that He cherishes them more than either of us can fathom.