Do you ever have those moments when you are so happy, you just want to scream? It could be for something significant, like an engagement, or a new baby, or you won the lotto...even if it's just for five bucks. Or it could be just for nothing in particular. Like, the sunshine pouring through your kitchen windows, or the sunflowers popping up everywhere. Weeds or not, they are gorgeous bursts of yellow love!
Sometimes a song will spur me on. I will be feeling complacent or sluggish...not really interested about anything....and then I will hear a familiar melody, or some lyrics that have always inspired me...and *snaps* just like that, I am a free spirit, full of grace and joy and peace, and the knowledge of all these things makes me feel like I could fly!
I have a memory from my days at Zephyr when Nathan and I were in the very earliest stages of our new romance. I was literally skipping everywhere. I remember getting up extra early to spend time with the Lord, in the cool dawn of the morning, listening to the precious silence of my beloved camp. I would just be in awe of the story that was unfolding before me; how could i be so richly blessed?? The desire to shout my joy would bubble up inside me...so instead of waking my roomies, I would skip on over to the cafeteria to begin my early morning duties. Stuart, the big boss man, would come in and scold me about the lack of coffee (i seriously could never ever remember to make it....i'm not a coffee drinker) and then he would smile and say he wished all kitchen girls would be so cheerful, so early. I would just smile and think about the cell phone that I had snuck inside my pocket, waiting for the early morning texts of "hello, beautiful". :)
It's those moments of sheer happiness that I cling to in times of grief. I still miss my friend, Joe, constantly. I see healing beginning all around me, but still, the cloud of pain is real. I see and read horrible stories of such tragedies and I wonder what the point is. I cry for strangers and their losses. I see the devastation that earthquakes and fires and storms cause around the globe. Disease. Sadness. Abandonment. It's easy to be swept up in the misery.
But I hold fast to the truth of a brighter future. When there will be no more war, pain, or grief. Just celebration and dancing!
And lots and lots of sunflowers.