Monday, August 27, 2012

A Post for Nolan


I wanted you all to know about the accident that has impacted quite a few of us in recent days. If you go to church with me or know my friends Shayna and Jacob personally, then you are aware of the tragedy that has struck Shayna's family through the sudden death of her younger brother Nolan via motorcycle accident last Friday evening.

Shayna and Jacob are family to us. We've walked through life with them since Shayna entered our lives a few years ago. Jacob and I have been friends since we were tweens; 16 years at least. When Jacob told me he'd found the girl he was going to marry and I began to get to know her, I couldn't wait to get to know her family. They all came to Texas for the wedding and I was delighted to meet her 2 brothers, her parents, and some really cool extended family (particularly her grandfather who won my heart with his twinkly eyes) Shayna's mom is the best. Her parenting style, her gentle, quiet, spirit and her beautiful countenance really resonated with me and I often keep up with her family's adventures via the internet. Shayna updates us regularly on her family and I feel like her brothers are a close part of my own heart, even though we only saw each other physically the week of Shayna's wedding.

I've admired her family for the unique closeness and their delicious sense of adventure. Always exploring this earth, always trying new things, and always loving each other fiercely. They've explored Europe together and had some wonderful family time recently in the states and I'm grateful that Shayna has those memories in her heart (and in pictures) to help her during these dark days.

Friday night when we learned of the news of Nolan, I was devastated. And if I was devastated, then what must her close-knit family be experiencing at this time. Jacob has been keeping us updated as best he can, but his grief is just as deep and he is fighting to support his family. Shayna, always remarkable under times of stress, is teaching me things even from across the country and she doesn't even realize it.

For several nights since the accident, I've been so wakeful at night. Waking up often, tossing and turning, and feeling as if my head is full of so much chaos. 

Shayna's mom's face has been in the forefront of my heart. SO much of the way she parents is so similar to my own heart's desires for my family. She's encouraged me to home school (a secret desire of mine) and the way she interacts with her sons always made my heart do somersaults of joy. Besides the fact that her and Shayna are best friends and kindred spirits, I just admire everything about her family. From the boys bond, to the girls and their sisterhood through Christ, and the way they communicate peace to one another. It is exactly what I pray for my own little family of almost five. I deeply desire for my sons to have a bond of brotherhood. I want them to desire adventure and to treat their mother and any woman who crosses their path with respect. I want them to be disciplined and joyful and humble. But most of all, I want a family that emmulates Jesus and loves the way he calls us to love. No. Shayna's family is far from perfect. They have their own moments just like the rest of us. BUT they press on and fight with fervor and do it joyfully and passionately and humbly. 

And now. With a piece of them missing in Nolan, I feel numb with grief, but I cannot find myself crying out to God without hope. Because in this darkness, Nolan was the brightest light. In these days of darkness, Shayna continues to shine brightly. Through these dark weeks, and months, and even in future years when we wake up and realize we cannot see Nolan's face in the flesh, we will remember the light because it glows within us who fight for the one man who did die but was resurrected three days later.

Nolan will be laid to rest on Wednesday. I grieve right alongside his family. I yearn for the day that all will be made clear to us in glory. I pray fiercely for all of Nolan's loved ones who ache for him. Especially his mother. Especially the woman who carried him in her womb, raised him up to be the gentle-hearted, intelligent young man that he was. 

One Sunday we sang a song by Robbie Seay Band called "You Cannot Have My Soul". Cristina, my friend who is battling Lymphoma, actually was the one to sing it. And of course, she nailed it. And of course, I sat there weeping because the truth in the words were ringing in my heart and the beauty of Cristina's voice always sends me into choking, ugly-cry mode. It's just that beautiful.

I'm going to place the lyrics at the bottom of this post for you. And I've shared the video at the top of this. The video is simply the song alone. Nothing flashy to distract you from to words. 
I wish I could have recorded Cristina singing it for Shayna and Jacob (who also are on the worship team at church) so they could have heard her grief loud and clear. I wish they could have seen how our church was grieving in one heartbeat for Shayna, Jacob, and their families. Even though hardly anyone actually was able to meet or speak to Nolan or maybe even know of his existence, their hearts were on their shoulders on Sunday as they wept and prayed for and ached for Shayna's family. 

This is one of my favorite shots of Shayna and her brothers from a Christmas trip to Europe. Nolan is on the left.
I wanted you to see a picture of Nolan and I didn't want to post too many. I have some of him from the wedding, but I wanted a picture of Shayna and her brothers together. They are a beautiful bunch, are they not?

So please, be in prayer for my friends. This is a nightmare, to say the least, but we don't grieve like those without any hope. But for the moment...we grieve.

Love,
jade


Cannot Have my Soul: By Robbie Seay
I'm a soul
With a body of my own
And there's a time I'll lay this body down

When I go
They'll mourn for what is lost
They'll rejoice for what is found

And if the devil wants to come for me
I will tell him to his face
You can have my body but you cannot have my soul
In the Heavens I will be
Singing songs of hallelujah
You can have my body but you cannot have my soul
No, you cannot have my soul

I can go
I can live beyond these bones
I can walk the streets of gold

Oh let me go, let me go
Let me live and breathe again
In the place that I have longed to know

And if the devil wants to come for me
I will tell him to his face
You can have my body but you cannot have my soul
In the Heavens I will be
Singing songs of hallelujah
You can have my body but you cannot have my soul

Oh, you cannot have my soul
No, you cannot have my soul, no
Singing songs of hallelujah
Oh, songs of hallelujah

Oh, you cannot have my soul

Won't stop living
In your arms I'll be
Living in the hope you leave
I'll stop living in fear, you see
Living in the hope you leave
(3x)

And if the devil wants to come for me, yeah
If the devil wants to come for me
I will tell him to his face
You can have my body but you cannot have my soul
And in the heavens I will be
Singing songs of hallelujah
You can have my body but you cannot have my soul

No, you cannot have my soul
Oh, oh my soul, no
Singing songs of hallelujah
Songs of Hallelujah

My soul, no
You cannot have my soul, no
Singing songs of hallelujah
Songs of hallelujah

No, you cannot have my soul
You cannot have my soul

Monday, August 06, 2012

Hello August!

Good morning!
Six days in and we are already rollin' into August. Can you believe how the year is passing?

August is probably one of my LEAST loved months.
Simply because it was always when school started for us and I hated to bid my beloved summers adieu. Plus it's murderously and mercilessly hot. HOT HOT HOT. And also because Hobby Lobby likes to be evil and pull out the fall and winter decor and tease us lovers of those seasons with their unrealistic beauty. Like we have EVER had a real Fall or Winter in South Texas. Except for that one Christmas that it snowed, the winter before Nate proposed to me. Ah, it was magical.

Dreaming of snow

Anyways, enjoy the beautiful, sweltering, dog days of August. My month is busy already, so you probably shan't see me blogging too too much. I hope to squeeze in a few Jade Thoughts and some picture updates and Nursery room ideas with you. :)

The best thing about today: I am 10 weeks along!! I am just going to continue trusting the Maker above and praying over this child in my womb. We are still resolved to not find out what the baby's gender is :) Eeeek!

So thankful. So blessed. So undeserving.

And maybe just a little bit sweaty too....bring on the rain, Lord! We need to be cooled off in south tejas. :)

xo, jade...